Written by The Ball Boys
Collingwood President and TV star Eddie McGuire has thrown the club’s Grand Final preparations into disarray today by quitting his post at the healm of the club upon realising the ‘Pies’, aka ‘Magpies’, weren’t actually edible.
You serious? I can't eat the pies?
McGuire explained to a studio audience at Channel 9 headquarters that he always thought that when people said he was President of ‘the Pies’, he was actually running some sort of bakery or pie shop.
When he discovered he was actually the President of a football club, and that there were no free pies involved, McGuire asked the Collingwood audience for confirmation, before locking in option (c): resign immediately.
Collingwood supporters
The resignation of their tubby talisman McGuire has capped off a tumultuous 24 hours for the Magpies, who have also had to deal with revelations of a black market trade in teeth sweeping parts of Melbourne, whereby Collingwood supporters have reportedly been pawning their last remaining teeth in return for some fresh tattoos in time for their big day.
McGuire said he was 50/50 about which direction his career would go next and that he’d like to phone a friend for advice, but he doesn’t have any.
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